The Anguish Burger

By on February 25th, 2010
4 Comments »

Screen shot 2010-02-25 at 10.02.33 AMI found myself starving at Home Depot yesterday. I begrudgingly stepped up and ordered a veggie burger from Harveys. I’m 1/2 way thorough the phenomenal book Eating Animals, which, if you’ve read it you know–it leaves no choice but the veggie burger.

One of the main take-aways from Jonathan Safran Foer’s investigation of where our meat comes from is the absolute meaninglessness of language when it comes to food. As Foer says about the term “free range:”

Applied to meat, eggs, dairy and every now and then even fish…the free-range label is bullshit. It should provide no more peace of mind than “all natural,” “fresh,” or “magical.”

Standing in line listening to people order the Harvey’s Angus burger, and watching those grey looking pucks get plunked on the grill,  it was dead obvious. Whatever Angus means, it couldn’t mean much in the way of quality.  What does Angus mean in the context of factory farming? Well, it turns out it means absolutely nothing at all. As the blog cheaphealthygood.com says:

Angus cattle are “the most popular beef breed of cattle in the U.S.” and fast food chains like Harvey’s aren’t “ serving the high-quality Certified Angus Beef. It’s just regular ol’ Angus beef, which hasn’t been proven to taste any better.”

So, given the meaninglessness of fast food language, I’ve come up with a few terms of my own:

Hows about Anus beef? “I’ll have an anus burger please!”

Um, Anguish beef? “Two anguish burgers with cheese to go”

Or a combo-platter. Anus-guish burger “I’ll take the Anus-guish burger”

All good options, and frankly more meaningful, and truthful than the term Angus.




  • OrganicGrassFedBeef

    I enjoyed your post. If I may, I would like to suggest my farm web site.

    Sumas Mountain Farms is the only producer of 100% certified-organic, lifetime grass-fed & finished beef in the Lower Mainland of BC (near Vancouver, Canada). We also offer chicken, eggs, pepperoni, jerky, salami, sausage, farmer sausage, steak and more.

    Because our beef is 100% grass-fed & finished, the quality of the meat is exceptional, and the flavor is unsurpassed. Plus, it is more

    nutrient-dense and packed with healthful Omega-3's than conventional beef, which is healthier for you, your family, and the planet.

    Please visit http://www.sumasmountainfarms.ca/ for more information! We have plenty of recipes for you to try.

    Thanks.

  • davidkruger

    Anus-gush burger? That might fly. Too bad I like the name Angus for a boy. **sigh**.

    It's becoming more and more a reality of life, to be faced with the eating out dilemma. I find, more often than not, that I prefer eating “ethnic” food and for some reason I figure I'm getting more BANG (excitement, flavour, uniqueness…) for my “U.F.O.” (Unknown Food Origin) eating experience.

  • davidkruger

    Anus-gush burger? That might fly. Too bad I like the name Angus for a boy. **sigh**.

    It's becoming more and more a reality of life, to be faced with the eating out dilemma. I find, more often than not, that I prefer eating “ethnic” food and for some reason I figure I'm getting more BANG (excitement, flavour, uniqueness…) for my “U.F.O.” (Unknown Food Origin) eating experience.

  • Jodi Lastman

    Barry had the idea to start a brand/certification called “Ethnical” to certify ethnic meat as naturally raised, organic, ethical, etc. I can’t even look at conventional meat anymore. Fogetaboutit. I like the U.F.O term though. Could be it’s own certification program….???


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